Bush, the zero-percenter

0%.

Yes, that's zero-freakin' percent.

That's the entire gain of the stock market, as determined by the S&P 500, from the end of January in 2001 through today. As you try to decide if it's better to put a Republican or Democrat in the White House, consider the simple fact that the market does better under the left.

And more importantly, that today's president -- with a Republican Congress for most of his term -- has the worst stock market return of any chief exec since there was a stock market. Zero. Zip. Nada.

Now, it wouldn't matter so much if I hadn't dutifully put a significant part of my income into my 401(k) every week for years on end, like so many busy American workers, confident the market's historic 8% return would mean a decent retirement fund all day. Skip even a few years, they say, and you lose the magic of compound interest and will end up picking up scraps of aluminum on the highway.

Yet the same thing happens when the market skips a few years. And with most Americans now relying on 401(k)s instead of the quaint notion of working for 40 years to earn a guaranteed pension, it matters a whole lot.

Of course, lots of money was still made on Wall Street in the past few years. By Wall Streeters who got commissions when we bought and sold stocks, for managing those 401(k) contributions, for planning IPO busts, for conjuring up subprime loans and CDOs and lord knows what else.

And that's the reality of investing. As in Las Vegas, the house gets its cut up front. They don't care if we win or lose, only that we keep playing.

Laugh or Cry?

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/diebold_accidentally_leaks

Tracy Flick for president!

If you've seen the movie "Election," you'll be delighted with this video from Slate that compares Reese Witherspoon's obsessions as a school candidate who "works very very hard" with what can only be described as Hilary's recent whining about how Obama is Just. Not. Ready.

Check it out here: http://slatev.com/player.html?id=1377935786

Nader. 'nuff said ...

In theory, there's nothing wrong with a well-meaning American standing up and declaring he or she wants to be president 'cause everyone else who wants the job is a bootyhead.

But we don't live in a theory.

Right now, you cannot win the presidency outside of the two major parties. Anyone who tries is delusional and/or running to make a statement. The parties (which are economic entities unto themselves, as well as conduits for national and international economic interests) control the electoral system.

What it will take for the demolition of the two-party system is not a Ralph Nader or a Pat Buchanana screaming at it from the outside. What it will take is a politician who will seduce the party machine, then once in power, turn around and bite it in the ass. Someone like former California Speaker of the Assembly Willie Brown, who knew how to get things done from the inside. As Willie once said:

"Hey, if you can't take people's money and then screw `em, then you've got no business being in the business."

Pinning a label on Obama

Well, the swift boats have set sail. Seems Barack Obama was once photographed with his hand not over his heart during part of a playing of a national anthem. That, and the fact he doesn't wear a flag pin on his lapel, make him unpatriotic, right?

MSNBC even has some conservative activists saying that the act of hating America by not wearing a pin will stand in sharp contrast to 'war hero' John McCain. An interesting comparison, since some conservative activists have also accused McCain of betraying the country while a POW.

But hey, that's the way these folks are. This will indeed be an interesting race, since -- if the press reports are right -- McCain has done with a lobbyist what they impeached Clinton for.

They'll no doubt find some way to support Old John if he gets the nom. Perhaps it'll be lapel-pin betrayal. Or the sentiments I see today in articles on quiet fears someone will shoot a black president.

The conservatives don't hate Osama because he's a dem, a liberal or a black. They're just worried about his safety.

Reading is not fundamental anymore

So I read in USA Today that the president's budget cuts funding for Reading Is Fundamental. And I cannot figure out why. There's some chatter he wants to privatize it, but this is a cheap program; $25 million sends 16 million books to poor kids. That's wouldn't cover the postage from Amazon, even though a $25 mil order would qualify for super-saver shipping.

Is it one of those programs Republicans just hate for being government? Well, his wife has read for the cause. So has his mom. So apparently not.

I can only conclude this: it's the terrorist menace. The last book the prez read to kids was "My Pet Goat." And the twin towers fell as he did. Probably no connection, but why take a chance.

After all, Saddam wasn't connected to 9/11, either, and Bush cut his funding.

Toot toot, rudy, goodbye

I won't bother with a long farewell to America's mayor, as he wasn't a factor in the presidential race for some time, if at all.

But his rapid descent from front-runner status shows just how out of touch the American media is. Simply the fact that this New York guy had a few good moments during 9/11 didn't make him the mayor of Boise or Dubuque, no matter what the media based in New York and Washington, D.C. said.

And while I've never been a big fan of conspiracy theories about a left-wing media -- I've never gotten even a single check from George Soros, damnit -- it's pretty clear the media leaders have not a clue about the GOP or the religious right.

Sure, the Moral Majority crowd will look the other way at slavery for global business, Abramoff-style corruption or the simple government ineptitude exemplified by Katrina.

But they impeached Bill Clinton for getting a bj, and they'd love to campaign against his wife this fall because he got said bj.

Giuliani is a twice-divorced guy who once left his wife in the mayor's mansion so he could bunk with two gay friends and openly date his mistress. That might make him a good side character on "Will & Grace," but he was not going to be the right wing's standard bearer.

That the media could not recognize this says less about Giuliani's campaign than it does America's out-of-touch media.

United States of Unconsciousness

So apparently there was a "State of the Union" speech by the prez. From what I can tell, here are the high points:

- Everything is fine, it just doesn't look that way.

- You can't judge my decisions until I leave office, by which time you will blame my successor.

Carry on ...