A lazy man's guide to political scandal

Ah, Eliot. I'll let Wall Street and Capitol Hill celebrate your downfall and do the moralizing -- as if high-priced pros don't find lots of work from those two centers of power.

No, what I may mind most is your laziness.

You wanted to be governor of New York. You might have been president. You couldn't just go out and find a lady to supplement your marital bliss?

You're a celebrity, cavorting in New York and Washington, with plenty of cash to lay down for meals, plush hotel rooms and assorted other forms of fun, You could get millions of people to vote for yo. But you couldn't close the deal in a Westside singles bar? Nothing steamy in the Georgetown night? You couldn't just get a girlfriend?

We could debate whether that's morally superior, of course. But American political life is full of politicians who've done quite well despite having girlfriends as well as wives. Yes, you might eventually have to choose between them -- Clinton chose Hill, Newt dumped two wives for girlfriends, McCain dumped one -- for the sake of a campaign.

But that's like shampoo. Rinse, cycle, and then repeat. It doesn't end your career. And then you can get another. We've outgrown Gary Hart. Heck, Rudy Giuliani left his wife in the New York mayoral mansion to publicly date his mistress, and he was a serious candidate for president. As a Republican.

But hookers? Nah. Sure, Charley Sheen can still get a TV show. Jimmy Swaggert and Ted Hagget can still pack churches. But you're not an actor or an evangelical preacher; you're a moralistic politician.

So I suppose it's OK to celebrate your downfall.